A self realization.

Don't remember the day or the date it was some years ago, I was with Parthiv and I told him this

"Da I'm not good at keeping friends. I lose them pretty fast. Take for example Athullia, I have a weird feeling our friendship is gonna end all pretty soon."

Two days after that I get a call from Athullia telling me to not to call her anymore (I was like, what the hell just happened ?). And that’s the end of it.

Damn I am so bad at keeping friends.

All I have in my life till now are my mom dad and my friends.

Oh I have many friends, I am a very friendly person. You meet me somewhere let it be the grocery store or a bus stand or a railway station, you talk to me for an hour or so at the end of the hour I am sure that we'll exchange numbers.

I don't know what is it. May be it is the insecurity feeling in me push me to make friends, the knowing that after my parents I am alone in this planet. I don’t really know what it is but all I know is that I have many friends.

May be for you this may seem as a cry from a person who have lost in this struggle of life. That is exactly what it is. I have lost many and I am still losing, the most precious stones of my life, my friends.

My first ever best friend Arun Venugopal. I lost him to God almighty when I was in eighth standard. I was so depressed, on his funeral I went for the function but I couldn't leave ma dad's car. The whole day I sat in there, crying, alone. I don’t remember the day of his demise and don’t want to, ever again.

After that I have a habit of making good friends and then all of a sudden loosing them. This has been going on since and I have no way of knowing where it will take me. That’s life, isn't it ?

Some curse or is it just me ?